Things I Am Still Learning

• Always try to help a friend in need.
• Believe in yourself.
• Be brave…but it’s ok to be afraid sometimes.
• Learn something new everyday.
• Work and/or study hard.
• Give a lot of kisses.
• Laugh often.
• Don’t be overly concerned with your weight, it’s just a number.
• Try to see the glass half full.
• Meet new people, even if they look different to you.
• Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless.
• Take lots of naps.
• Be weird whenever you have the chance.
• Don’t waste food.
• RELAX.
• Take an occasional risk.
• Try to have a little fun each day….it’s important.
• Work together as a team.
• Share a joke with friends.
• Fall in love with someone….and say ‘I love you’ often.
• Express yourself creatively.
• Be conscious of your appearance.
• Always be up for surprises.
• Love someone with all of your heart.
• Share with friends.
• Watch your step.
• It will get better.
• There is always someone who loves you more than you know.
• Exercise to keep fit.
• Live up to your name.
• Seize the Moment.
• Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between.
• Indulge in the things you truly love.
• Cherish every Sunday.
• At the end of the day PRAY to whomever brings you peace.
• Smile at least once a day!

Pretty Sad But Somehow Enlightening

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.  One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.  His bed was next to the room’s only window.  The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.  The men talked for hours on end.  They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.  And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.  The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.  Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow.  Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.  One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.  Although the other man couldn’t hear the band he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Then unexpectedly, a sinister thought entered his mind.  Why should the other man alone experience all the pleasures of seeing everything while he himself never got to see anything?  It didn’t seem fair.  At first thought the man felt ashamed.  But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour.  He began to brood and he found himself unable to sleep.  He should be by that window — that thought, and only that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough.  He was choking on the fluid in his lungs.  The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help.  Listening from across the room he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running in.  In less than five minutes the coughing and choking stopped, along with that the sound of breathing.

Now there was only silence-deathly silence.  The following morning the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths.  When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take it away.  As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window.  The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside.  Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself.  He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.  It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate since he had described such wonderful things outside this window.  The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.  She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Epilogue. . . .

You can interpret the story in any way you like.  But one moral stands out:  There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.  Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can’t buy. Author Unknown

Happy New Year….To Me!

I love New Years’ Eve! Love it, love it, love it. I love everything about it. I don’t even mind that it’s cold and I despise winter (summer babies understand this). Everything seems fresh, new and hopeful. Of course, I am silly enough to make resolutions that I do intent to keep, but somehow, wind up dismissing. Every year I vow to quit smoking, not because it is an unhealthy habit, but because I think I should quit. Well guess what? I am not going to pretend that a new year should trigger a desire to quit. I will quit polluting my lungs when I am good and damn ready to!! pplaath!

One goal that I will try to stick to (again) is going to the gym. I faithfully pay my membership fees every month, but very rarely show up to gunk up their equipment with my sweat. I realize that this is a very common problem, (not for the gym…they get paid and they don’t have to do anything for the client!) not their fault, I know. If I could get paid for doing nothing, I would! Truth is, I’m lazy. There I said it! Yup, I’m lazy! Wow, I feel better already! Theoretically, getting in shape ( isn’t round a shape??) should be a personal decision, a singular goal. However, I like and need to have someone with me when I do go. Not necessarily to “talk” with, but someone to motivate me to keep at it. A little competition never hurt anybody.  I think, perhaps, it is the whole misery loves company thing. One exception is kick-boxing. I like doing that alone. It is, for me, a very aggressive activity and I work out my issues on that stupid padded pole. I don’t think that my loved ones need to see that…they might take it personally or I might get committed.

This year I am going to get back to the things that bring me peace and pleasure. I love photography, writing poetry and making jewellery. I personally don’t think I am very good at any of them, but I don’t care, I like to do it. The past couple of years have been fairly shitty for me emotionally and I just didn’t feel like mentally exposing myself. One would think that would be the perfect time for self-expression, but the way I was feeling, it would have been a debacle.

At this stage of the game, I realize that my life, for all intents and purposes, is likely half over. I don’t want any regrets. Of course we all have them, and I have more than a few of them under my belt. All of us have experienced the “could of”, “should of” and “would of” syndrome. I can’t, for my own emotional health, do that anymore. I have had a few friends pass away this year. A couple of them died quickly, and I have to think painlessly, and a couple went not so quickly and I’m sure not painlessly.  Although my heart hurts at the thought, I have to thank “whomever” is in charge (who is in charge anyway? Is it Helen? and where did I leave my hand basket?) for reminding me that my time on this planet is NOT infinite. There isn’t any more time. I can’t bank time for later. I have to do it now. I AM going to write my “Bucket List” this week and make a point of doing all of the things on it that I want to learn and experience before die. On the top of my list is belly-dancing (I’m laughing at the visual, but I bet its fun!). I want to learn to speak Italian. No one in my family taught the kids to speak Italian because the “adults”, and I use that term loosely, didn’t want us to know what they were conversing about.  I, also, desperately want to sky dive. I really don’t care if I get splatter against a cliff or drown in the ocean…I simply want to fly.

Last, but certainly not least, I am going to stop being so angry. Several people that I love and care for very deeply (thank you ♥Michael♥, Annie, my “adopted” sister and my “baby” brother, Ed) have not so casually mentioned that I come off very angry. Really, I’m not (well, maybe a little) angry. I am passionate about what I feel and I have no problem saying what’s on my mind, but I don’t mean to seem so angry. It took a virtual stranger (much respect to you, Janelle) to open my eyes that I can, and do, get perceived at being angry. I will work on it.

My wish for everyone is to be healthy, joyful, prosperous and regret less. Do the things that make you happy. Love fully and be fully loved. Most of all, be kind to yourself. If you don’t or can’t care for yourself it is difficult and unfair to expect that someone else will. Much love and respect to all ~ ♥Desdemona♥